


They Calm the Waves

by flowerfan



Category: Glee
Genre: Discussion of school shooting, Glee Twist Fest, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, blam friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 17:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/pseuds/flowerfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Glee Twist Fest (prompt:  what if Kitty had another sleepover?)<br/>Set right after Glee 4x18, Shooting Star<br/>Warnings for discussion of the school shooting, possible PTSD, related fears</p><p>Kitty decides that the Glee club needs a bonding sleepover after the school shooting.  What she didn’t have to say was that all of them were having trouble sleeping anyway.  Blaine is particularly concerned about being able to fall asleep, but Kurt and Sam help him out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Calm the Waves

The weekend after the school shooting at McKinley, Kitty invited the whole Glee club over for a “bonding” sleepover party. They had come together in unexpected ways during the crisis, she explained, and she thought that spending more quality time together outside of school would help them continue that trend. What she didn’t have to say was that all of them were having trouble sleeping anyway. They might as well get together and stay up late, and give their families a break.

Any parents that balked at the idea of a co-ed sleepover were quickly assured by Kitty’s mom that the girls and the boys would be separated for the sleeping portion of the event. Blaine spared a moment to consider how this kind of thing would usually drive him nuts – the casual assumption that splitting the group into boys vs. girls would eliminate the possibility of sexual activity – but after the events of the week, he had trouble caring about the topic. He was exhausted. Just concentrating on getting through classes without passing out on his desk took all of his energy. Luckily most of McKinley’s teachers seemed similarly disinterested in focusing on academics, opting to show upbeat movies vaguely related to the subject matter of their class, or let classroom conversations veer off on tangents. All quizzes, tests and deadlines were put off for at least a week, and Ms. Pillsbury brought in several extra counselors to staff special sessions in the library for students who were having trouble dealing with the aftermath of the shooting.

Blaine didn’t go to any of these sessions, of course. It frankly didn’t occur to him that it would even be helpful for him. He was fine, his friends were all fine, no one was hurt. There hadn’t even been anyone trying to shoot people – it was all just an accident, Coach Sylvester being her usual crazy self. Although there was also something going on with Becky, but Blaine couldn’t put his finger on it. He figured that once the fog in his brain cleared up he’d confront her. Sam would help, he knew, especially if he convinced him to make it a mission for The Blonde Chameleon and Nightbird. 

Saturday afternoon Blaine’s mom suggested that he take a nap so that he would be able to enjoy the party that night. Up in his room Blaine glanced in the mirror and cringed at his reflection – the bags under his eyes were like craters, and he apparently had gotten distracted while shaving that morning and missed a few noticeable spots. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, though, so he took a hot shower and dozed in the comforting steam. He shaved again, and gently squeezed his hair dry, deciding that he’d forego the heavy gel treatment since he wouldn’t be able to wash it out before going to sleep. 

It had been a long time since Blaine had been to a sleepover, at least one that wasn’t just him and Kurt. There had been a summer barbeque sleepover at one of the Warblers’ houses a few years ago, but he had never been to one with the New Directions. He knew how much Kurt had loved his girls’ nights with Rachel and Mercedes, but no matter how much he loved Tina, there was no way he was going to have a sleepover with her, for obvious reasons. He indulged himself for a moment thinking about what it would be like to live with Kurt, Rachel, and Santana in New York – endless sleepovers, never having to eat dinner by himself, a home filled with laughter. It was a fantasy, one of his favorites, but at this point no more likely to happen than Rachel actually getting the lead in Funny Girl.

Not that things were bad between himself and Kurt now. In fact, since the shooting, Kurt had been incredibly attentive and caring. Kurt had called Blaine less than ten minutes after the all clear, his voice shaking almost as much as Blaine’s hands had been as he struggled to hold his phone to his ear. Apparently Rachel had seen news of the shooting on a television in the NYADA student lounge, and pulled Kurt out of class to watch with her. Kurt even saw even footage of Jacob Ben Israel trying to interview a sobbing Tina after Figgins refused to let her back into the choir room. 

Over the past few days Kurt had sent Blaine a steady stream of texts, mostly about nothing at all. Blaine got the feeling that Kurt was just checking, over and over, that Blaine was still there. Every text sent a shock of warmth through him, bringing him up out of his stupor for a few minutes. They talked on the phone every night, sharing stories about their days, and engaging in the kind of walks down memory lane that hadn’t been a topic of conversation since before the break-up. Blaine was incredibly grateful for the time Kurt was spending with him, especially the late night phone calls when he was afraid to close his eyes. But he worried that Kurt would get tired of it soon. He didn’t want Kurt to think of him as needy. At the same time, however, he didn’t want it to end. Soon, he thought, soon he would put a stop to this, and act like a normal person again. 

Kurt knew all about the sleepover at Kitty’s, in fact, he thought it was a fabulous idea. A great way to bond, he said, and have a spa day at the same time. Blaine laughed, and then realized Kurt was serious, as he dared Blaine to let the girls paint his nails and post a pic on Facebook. Not likely, he thought, but played along with Kurt, basking in the sound of his giggles as Blaine pretended to debate whether he should go with glitter or a more sophisticated French manicure.

It occurred to Blaine that he was fully dressed and ready to go, but there were still several hours left before the party. He didn’t remember getting dressed, or packing a bag, but nonetheless, it was done. He wandered downstairs, spent a few minutes helping his mom put some groceries away, and then sat down at the piano. Kitty had asked everyone to prepare a song, or at least be ready to do karaoke. She wanted them to come up with something meaningful to share how they were each feeling now. Artie had asked Blaine to accompany him, so he spent some time going over his song, and then pulled out some older piano books and played through different pieces, trying not to think about much of anything. Before he knew it, it was time to go.

The party was already well under way by the time Blaine got there. Kitty had set everything up in her basement, which, although lacking a stage like Rachel’s, had plenty of space. Blaine grabbed a soda and was headed over to the pool table when Tina ambushed him, insisting that he join her and Marley as they looked through the karaoke catalog. The music was loud and cheerful, and Blaine found himself relaxing a little bit, perched on a comfortable couch with the girls on either side of him.

Soon Kitty gathered the group together for some group bonding activities. After a few improv games, everyone started to get restless, so Artie declared that it was time for their performances.

Marley was up first, singing “You’ve Got a Friend.” She had called Blaine the night before to get his advice on whether to sing this or an original song she was working on, which apparently also had friendship as a theme, but in the end Marley decided she wasn’t quite ready to share her own piece yet. Blaine thought she did a lovely job with the Carole King number.

Blaine and Sam went next. “You probably don’t know this song, but the words really describe how we feel about you guys,” Sam explained, “so listen up.” 

“And thanks to Marley for introducing us to this great singer-songwriter duo,” said Blaine, smiling at Marley. Since Marley had played a few “Boy” songs for Blaine he had been hooked, and he particularly loved this one.

Sam started them off on the guitar, and Blaine took the first verse. 

You should see my favorite people,  
You catch a glimpse of gold through their skins.  
I walk on air whenever I'm with them,  
They're where the happiness begins.  
And I'm alright on my own, but with them I'm much better  
They're like diamonds and diamonds are forever.

Marley bounced up and down when she heard the song, clapping her hands together, and Blaine nodded for her to join them on the chorus.

They stand taller than giants,  
They outshine all the stars  
They are the love above the love  
They're my army of fortune,  
They win every war  
They are the love above the love.

Sam took the next verse, and then the whole group joined in with them for the chorus again.

Blaine loved the lyrics of the next verse:

They're a boat when I'm underwater  
They tame the sharks and they calm the waves  
When I choke they pat my back harder  
My load is light, my secrets are safe

“I guess that was a success,” Sam said afterwards as everyone clapped, giving Blaine a high five. “Blam!” 

Artie rolled to the front of the room, looking a little bit uncomfortable. “Artie? Something wrong?” Unique asked kindly as Artie got ready to sing.

“Not really, but get ready for a change of mood,” Artie warned. “I guess I wanted to share a different feeling. We shouldn’t have had to go through this. No one should. It’s not fair.”

The room was silent as Artie took the mike, and Blaine sat down at the keyboard and started playing the prelude to Billy Joel’s “Angry Young Man.” 

When Artie finished, everyone burst into applause. “You rocked it,” Ryder shouted. “Awesome!” The group crowded around Artie, hugging him and slapping him on the back.

“All right, everyone, settle down,” Brittany said. “My turn now.” Kitty helped Brittany find her piece on the karaoke machine, and then sat down next to Tina, shooting her a puzzled look.

“What?” Tina whispered, sliding closer to Blaine to give Kitty more room on the couch.

“Nothing,” Kitty replied, shaking her head.

“My song is all about how much I love you guys, and how happy you make me,” Brittany began.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey  
You never know, dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away.

“Um, does Brittany know how the next verse goes?” Blaine whispered into Tina’s ear. He could never listen to this song without crying, and it seemed tremendously inappropriate for tonight. But there was no telling with Brittany.

Brittany continued with the second verse, smiling and twirling around, motioning with her hands along with the words.

The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping  
I dreamt I held you in my arms  
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head, and I cried.

At this point Tina was sobbing, Ryder had his head buried in his hands, and Unique and Marley were wiping tears from their eyes.

“Wow, Britt, that was great!” Sam interrupted her, pulling her into a hug and reaching over to switch off the karaoke machine. “Super job!”

“I wasn’t done,” she protested.

“Oh, I think you were,” Kitty mumbled. “Come on, I think I overestimated my tolerance for this crap. Let’s go upstairs and eat.”

Kitty’s parents had laid out a buffet full of food for them, which they all gladly descended upon. Not only was there the expected pizza, mozzarella sticks, and chips, but apparently Kitty really liked Japanese food, so there were also platters of sushi and sashimi, along with tempura shrimp and veggies. “Kitty, this is really amazing,” Blaine commented, sitting down next to her at the dining table. “Thank you.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Kitty replied, looking around to see whether anyone else was nearby. “My mom and dad saw that video Artie made, where I said what I good year I was having,” she said softly. “So they pretty much decided that Glee club is their new favorite thing, and that they need to butter you all up so you don’t kick me out.”

“We would never kick you out,” Blaine insisted, to which Kitty only smirked in reply. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re having a good year. You deserve it.” 

“Not particularly,” Kitty mumbled, but Blaine bumped his shoulder against hers, then did it a few more times until she smiled. “Fine, whatever, thanks.”

After dinner everyone filed back downstairs, except for Brittany. Her parents weren’t letting her stay overnight, and wanted her home and in bed by ten. Apparently they had taken her to a therapist after the shooting, and she had prescribed some kind of sleeping pill and a regular sleep routine. Blaine’s stomach turned a little when he thought about going to sleep. He had a sleep routine, it just didn’t involve getting much sleep. Somehow closing his eyes had become almost as terrifying as being trapped in the choir room.

Kitty put in a movie but Blaine didn’t pay much attention to it. Most of the lights were turned off, the room lit by the flickering of the television. Tina was curled up quietly next to him, with Sam on his other side, exclaiming whenever something interesting happened in the story, and trading comments with Jake and Ryder. They had voted to watch Captain America, the idea being that none of them wanted anything more emotional right now. Blaine had already watched the movie a dozen times with Sam, and what he really wanted was to go to sleep, but every time his eyes drooped, he woke back up again. 

Finally the movie was over. Tina, Marley, Kitty and Unique traded hugs and good nights with everyone, then headed up to Kitty’s room where they would be sleeping – not yet, of course, Tina reminded them, as they still hadn’t done their nails. Blaine smiled, remembering his conversation with Kurt about the relative value of glitter polish. Blaine separated himself from the boys’ debate over whether to play video games or pool, and dialed Kurt’s number before he even really realized what he was doing.

“Hey there,” Kurt answered. “How’s the party?”

Blaine slid down to the floor, drawing his knees up, his back against the wall. “Pretty good.”

“You okay?”

“I was.” Blaine took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “My song went well, and I didn’t screw up the Prelude.”

“I can’t believe Artie expected you to learn that in two days,” Kurt said. “You’re amazing.”

“I already knew it,” Blaine deflected. “I just hadn’t played it in a while.”

“Still,” Kurt insisted. “Amazing.”

“Thanks.” Blaine was quiet, his thoughts focused on Kurt. “How was your day?”

“Oh, same old drama.” Kurt launched into a story about Rachel and Santana’s ongoing dispute over shelf space in the bathroom. Blaine ached to be there with them, sharing in the crazy, not alone anymore in this ridiculously shouldn’t be scary suburban basement.

“Blaine?”

“Sorry, I must have drifted off.”

“You must be exhausted. When are you guys going to sleep?”

Blaine looked around. Artie and Jake had apparently decided on video games, but Ryder looked like he was down for the count, stretched out on the couch behind them. Sam was over in the opposite corner, moving a foosball table over near the wall and sliding two big bean bags under it. “Soon, I think. I’m not really awake enough to do anything else right now.”

“Well that’s good,” Kurt said encouragingly. “Maybe you’ll be so tired you’ll conk right out.”

“Doubt it,” Blaine mumbled. “I thought it might be better tonight. But it’s not. Every time my eyes close I just feel sick and then they open again.”

“You don’t have to stay there tonight, you know. If you don’t feel safe, just go home. Everyone will understand.”

Sam looked over and caught Blaine’s eye, a concerned expression on his face. “I can’t go home. Sam is setting up some kind of elaborate fort or something over in the corner. He’d be sad if I left.” Blaine gave Sam a wave, watching his face light back up.

“So go cuddle up with Sam and relax. You guys can keep each other safe.”

“Sure, it’s that easy.” Frankly, the thought of cuddling up with anyone right now sounded downright wonderful, but he didn’t get to do that kind of thing. Unless it was with Kurt, and that wasn’t even in the cards anymore.

“Maybe it is.” Blaine heard Kurt slide his curtain closed. “You know if this had happened at NYADA, Rachel and I would be curled up around each other every night for a month. It’s about comforting each other, not sexuality. ” Kurt paused, and Blaine could hear him take a deep breath in. “You know I won’t be mad, right? No matter what you and Sam do.”

“I doubt Sam has any interest in cuddling me, platonic or otherwise,” Blaine said quietly. While his own personal Rachel would be lovely, he didn’t see it happening with Sam. “I wish you were here,” he whispered, tucking his head down on his knees.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” Kurt sighed. “I wish I was there with you, too.” Kurt had suggested coming to visit, but Blaine had told him not to. Kurt was right in the middle of a thousand important things, he didn’t need to fly back to Ohio to take care of a frightened ex-boyfriend who was never even in any danger to start with.

“Blaine? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Blaine took a deep breath, and then another. He had to pull it together.

“So go bunk down with your hunky bro, and try to get some sleep, okay?” Kurt was trying to lighten the mood. Blaine appreciated the effort, and tried to perk himself back up.

“Okay, will do.”

“Blaine?” Kurt asked softly. “I love you.”

Blaine smiled, wiping his eyes. “I love you too.”

Blaine hung up, took a minute to compose himself, and then wandered over to Sam. 

“What do you think?” Sam looked hesitant as he waved towards the corner. He had made them a cute little nook using the foosball table, two huge bean bags, and a low bookshelf. It looked like there would be just enough room for their two sleeping bags and their backpacks, laid out with their feet pointing towards the rest of the room.

“It’s awesome, Sam.” Blaine smiled at his friend. “You want to go get changed and I’ll finish up?”

“Cool.” Sam grabbed his backpack and headed towards the bathroom. Blaine untied their sleeping bags and rolled them out in the cozy space. He had a pillow with him but Sam apparently forgot his, so he brought a throw pillow over from the seating area and propped it at the top of Sam’s bag. He had just unzipped each of them and folded the top corners back, admiring his work, when he realized he had set them up with the zippers touching each other. Was that weird? He sat down on Sam’s bag and was just about to flip his over when Sam arrived, crashing into Blaine and tugging him down into their nest.

“This is awesome, isn’t it?” Sam exclaimed happily. “I was going to wall off the fourth side too, down by our feet, but then I thought maybe we’d want to see out. Keep an eye on things, you know.” Sam glanced around. “Thanks for the pillow – I guess I forgot one.”

“Sure, Sam.” Blaine pulled out of Sam’s hold before Sam could start tickling him or something equally embarrassing, noting as he did how soft Sam’s light blue hoodie was, and how distractingly snug across his chest. “I’ll go change and be right back.”

In the bathroom Blaine hurried through washing his face and taking out his contacts. He put on his glasses and gave himself a quick look in the mirror, sorry to see that the bags under his eyes were still there. His hair hadn’t frizzed out, though, despite using just a little gel, so that was something. He put on his blue and gray striped sleep pants and an old Dalton tee, wishing he had packed something more substantial. Too late now. Blaine realized that he had spent the past few minutes feeling generally awkward and nervous about sleeping next to Sam, instead of just being frightened of going to sleep – maybe this was a good thing. In an uncomfortable sort of way.

Back with Sam, Blaine set his backpack down and slid into his sleeping bag. He turned to face his friend, his right arm tucked up under his pillow, and his left lying between them. Sam rolled over to face him, mirroring his position. He bit his lip, and rubbed his mouth. 

“Wait a sec.” Sam spun around in his sleeping bag, looking for something in his backpack, and then turned back over. “Want some chapstick?” Blaine took the lip balm from Sam, quickly put it on his lips, and gave it back, watching through his eyelashes as Sam took his time. He knew that half the time Sam dragged out the process to entertain him, and he couldn’t really mind.

Sam reached around again and shuffled in his pack, his sleeping bag getting all tangled. “Look what else I brought.” He showed Blaine a small camping lantern, then switched it on low and stuck it on a shelf above their heads. “That okay?”

The dim light illuminated Sam’s earnest face as he waited for Blaine’s approval. Blaine nodded, and smiled at Sam. Sam tried so hard to do the right thing, and at least when it came to Blaine, he generally succeeded. Blaine didn’t know how this dorky, gorgeous Ohio boy always seemed to know what to say to him, but he did.

Sam tried to straighten out his sleeping bag, which had gotten all twisted around his feet, making Blaine giggle. Sam finally gave up and unzipped it, falling back down with a sigh, then turning over to face Blaine again. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” Sam asked, a serious look on his face. “It all went pretty well, right?”

“Yeah, I actually did have fun.” Blaine paused. “I wasn’t sure if I would. But it’s good to be all together, even if we are all kind of on edge.” Blaine really had enjoyed himself. Even the rough spots of the night were less painful with everyone around, going through it together.

“Yeah. I was a little worried about you.”

“About me? Why?” Blaine hadn’t thought his nerves were that obvious, at least not until he was on the phone with Kurt.

“Duh.” Sam caught Blaine’s eye and smirked. “I know how nervous you were about that piano piece. Performance anxiety always gets you.”

Blaine laughed. “Yeah, that’s totally what I’m worried about these days. You never know when some college admissions officer is going to be hanging around Kitty’s basement, looking for a way to sneak in and evaluate the Glee kids.”

Sam laughed too, pretending to look around for the spy. “They might not have caught us on our best night,” he admitted. “And it crashed and burned before everyone got a chance to sing. Classic Glee club drama.”

“True. At least we got to do our song.”

“We were awesome, weren’t we?” Sam held his hand up for Blaine to slap, a little crooked given that they were both lying down. “Blam!”

Blaine’s heart swelled, just as it did every single time Sam said “Blam.” It was better than a nickname, better even than Sam’s arm around his shoulder. It was an acknowledgement that the two of them were something special together. Not a couple, but a pair nonetheless. Blaine grinned, happy just to be happy for a minute. His words just fell out. “Thank you, Sam.”

“For what?”

“For being my friend.” Blaine squeezed his eyes closed for a moment and then opened them again, looking right into Sam’s. “I mean it, Sam.”

“I know, dude,” Sam said softly. “I’m glad you’re my friend too.” Blaine smiled helplessly back at Sam, and the two of them just lay there for a minute, until Blaine blinked and looked away.

“I talked to my brother today,” Sam said, rolling over onto his back and crossing his arms under his head.

“Oh? Stevie?”

“Um, yeah,” Sam replied. 

Blaine thought Sam sounded kind of odd, but maybe it was the way he was directing his words up towards the ceiling. “Stevie’s a great kid. How’s he doing?”

“He’s fine.” Sam paused. “I always wanted a brother more my age. Like a twin.”

“That would be cool,” Blaine said mildly.

“It would be great,” Sam said, turning back towards Blaine, smiling broadly as he pulled Blaine’s glasses off of his head and put them on, giving Blaine a studious look. “He’d be a lot like you. Real smart, good looking, always sure of himself -“

“I’m not very sure of myself at the moment,” Blaine observed, silently storing the “good looking” comment away for further reflection.

“So he’d be perfect right now. He’d come in and help us out, he’d take care of everything.”

“Sounds good. When can I meet him?”

“Oh, any time now,” Sam joked. 

Suddenly Artie and Jake shouted, and Blaine jumped, sitting up straight. Sam was right there, his hands holding tight to Blaine’s shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay, they were just yelling at the game. It’s okay.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Blaine was trembling as Sam pulled him in to a hug.

“Don’t be sorry. You were just startled. It’s okay.” Sam held him tight and rubbed his back. “It’s okay. Come on, lay back down.” Sam eased Blaine back down, but kept one hand on his arm, moving up and down from his shoulder to his wrist a few times, and then taking his hand. 

“I’m so tired, Sam, I can’t even tell whether to be legitimately worried about anything anymore. It all just hits me so hard. I almost burst into tears when Tina told me they didn’t have any more orange juice left at lunch yesterday.”

“I know, B. Me too.”

“But you seem like you’re doing fine,” Blaine insisted.

“Wait until my nightmares wake you up,” Sam replied darkly.

“I would have to actually be asleep for you to wake me up.” 

“Fair enough.” Sam shifted around, pulling at their sleeping bags until they were both tucked in. “Come on, what should we do to fall asleep? Want to count sheep? We could count superheroes? Recite our favorite lines from movies?”

Blaine snorted. “You could do impressions for me.”

“Hey, my impressions don’t put you to sleep!” Sam pretended to be put out. “Seriously, is there anything you’ve tried that helps?”

“Just one thing,” Blaine said softly. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“I would never laugh at you,” Sam said earnestly. “Not about something important.”

Blaine knew it was true. Besides, what would it hurt for Sam to know? It’s not like Sam hadn’t seen him at his most pathetic a thousand times already. He sighed and looked down at where Sam had taken his hand again. “I talk on the phone with Kurt until I fall asleep. He sings to me.” Blaine closed his eyes and waited for Sam’s response.

“That’s really nice, Blaine.” Sam squeezed his hand, then sat up. “Where’s your phone? Let’s call him.”

“Wait, no,” Blaine sat up too, shaking his head. “I already talked to him tonight.”

“Clearly, it didn’t work. You’re still awake.”

“Ha, ha, ha,” Blaine responded. “No, I mean I don’t want to bother him. I already must seem ridiculously needy as it is. I’m not a toddler. I can put myself to sleep.” Blaine wished he felt as sure about this as he sounded.

“What if I want a Kurt serenade tonight, huh? Ever think of that?” Sam leaned over Blaine and plucked his phone out of the top of his backpack. “I’ll call him, okay?”

Blaine knew Sam wouldn’t do it unless he agreed, and he was just too tired to protest any further. Plus, he really did want to hear Kurt’s voice again. “Fine, twist my arm.” Blaine and Sam both lay back down, the phone by their heads in the space between them, as Sam found Kurt’s name and called. 

Just before Kurt said hello, Sam took Blaine’s hand in his again and smiled reassuringly. “We’ve got this.”

Sure enough, not long afterwards, as Kurt reached the second verse of “Perfect,” Blaine was fast asleep.

\-------------

Blaine’s eyes popped open to see Sam sitting on his sleeping bag next to him, a water bottle in his hand.

“Shit, I tried not to wake you up,” Sam apologized. “Want some water?”

Blaine accepted the bottle and took a sip, then handed it back to Sam. It was clearly still nighttime, although the lamp Sam had brought kept it from being particularly dark. Someday Blaine would thank Sam properly for thinking of that.

“Nightmare?” 

“Yeah. I’m okay now.” Sam put down the water and slid back under the covers, squishing his pillow up under his head. 

“Want to talk about it?” Blaine tried to catch Sam’s eyes, but he was still shuffling around under the covers, trying to get comfortable.

“It’s kind of faded at this point. But it’s mostly just me hiding somewhere, feeling trapped, and hearing someone coming towards me. I want to run, or scream, but I can’t move, and I know something bad is coming.”

“Sam, that’s awful.” Blaine put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Has this been happening every night?”

“Pretty much, in one form or another. And the dream isn’t even the worst part. It’s when I wake up, I still feel it, like I’m physically still terrified, and it takes a while to relax enough to feel normal.”

“Hug it out?” Blaine ventured. He usually didn’t initiate their hugs, but this seemed like a reasonable time to make an exception. Sam apparently agreed, as he dived into Blaine’s arms. They lay awkwardly together for a while, Blaine trying his best to stroke Sam comfortingly with the arm that wasn’t trapped under Sam.

“You give the best hugs,” Sam said, his voice muffled against Blaine’s neck. He finally pulled away and settled himself back on his side. “I am really sorry I woke you up. You look so peaceful when you’re asleep.”

Blaine felt himself blush. “It’s a skill,” he joked. “What time is it anyway?”

“Around 2 o’clock. Artie and Jake only went to sleep a few minutes ago. You missed their whole couch vs. floor debate.”

“Who won?”

“Air mattress. Surprise finish. The crowds went wild.”

Blaine laughed. At least if he had to be awake at 2 a.m., he was awake with Sam. Things could be a lot worse.

Sam shifted and took Blaine’s hand again. Blaine briefly wondered how this had become a thing. Because he was pretty sure that even the best bros didn’t usually hold hands, at least not when they were 18 years old. But Sam’s hand was warm and solid in his, and he wasn’t going to look a gift horse (or hand) in the mouth. Tucked in this little nook next to Sam, Blaine felt safer than he had in days.

“You’re really lucky, you know,” Sam said quietly.

“Hmm?” Blaine looked up to find Sam gazing at him wistfully.

“To have Kurt.”

“Sam, we’re not even dating.” 

“Sure you are. Close enough. I know you’ll get back together.”

“You don’t know that.” Blaine wondered if Sam considered how odd it was to be having this conversation as they lay next to each other holding hands. Maybe it really wasn’t odd, just like Kurt was trying to say. Maybe it was just a particularly awesome friendship. He didn’t know how Sam could be envious of his tentative non-boyfriend relationship with Kurt, when Sam had an actual relationship with Brittany. “Besides, you have Brittany. She loves you.”

“It’s not the same.” Sam paused, waiting for Blaine to contradict him, but he couldn’t. No matter what he and Kurt had lost, their connection was still there, and it wasn’t like anything else. “I really try with Brittany, but I think in the end she’s just going to leave me, like all the other girls I’ve dated.”

“Oh, Sam, no…”

“It’s okay, it’s not forever love, I know it. I’m not sure that Brittany has it in her to love the way you and Kurt do. She’s more of a free spirit, you know? Or maybe she just hasn’t met the right person yet.” Sam let go of Blaine’s hand and ran his fingers through his hair. “But you and Kurt, you’re meant to be.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

“You should. Dude, he loves you like crazy. He cares so much about you, it’s like his love was actually pouring through the phone.”

“What are you talking about? The song?”

“I may have heard more than one song,” Sam admitted.

“Sam?” Blaine said sternly, giving Sam his best Warbler head council look. “Explain, please.”

“Well, when we were on the phone before, Kurt finished singing Perfect -- which really wasn’t the same without your rap interlude, by the way.” Sam poked Blaine in the arm for emphasis. “And then he said something like, ‘still awake?’ And without thinking, I just said ‘yeah.’ I don’t know if he thought I was you, or if I was speaking for both of us, whatever, but then he just talked for a few minutes, saying that everything was okay, it was all going to get better, that you were surrounded by people who loved you, your parents, your friends. And he said over and over how much he loved you.”

Blaine felt tears slide down his face onto his pillow, and he squeezed his eyes shut. “Sam, you don’t have to do this.”

“Blaine, I wouldn’t make this up, honestly, what kind of friend do you think I am?” Sam huffed and went on. “Then he sang that song from Moulin Rouge you guys love so much.”

“Come What May?”

“Yeah, that one. Anyway, when he finished that, he asked, really quietly, whether Blaine was still awake, so I said no, you were asleep. He said he figured as much since you usually sing along with Come What May. And he said he was surprised, because the past few nights he’s had to sing four or five songs before you fell asleep.”

Blaine wiped his face and took a deep breath. “Maybe it’s your magical presence.”

“That’s what Kurt said,” Sam chuckled.

“What?”

“Well, he said that he was glad we were here to look out for each other, and he thanked me for helping you get some rest. And then he told me to cuddle you since he couldn’t do it himself.”

“You can’t be serious.” Blaine looked into Sam’s eyes, which were sparkling mischievously.

“Serious as a heart attack.” Sam smiled. “And it’s perfect, too, ‘cause now I can do this without you completely freaking out.” Sam grabbed Blaine and pulled him over until his head was lying on his chest. Blaine tensed, his head spinning, but relaxed as Sam rubbed his back soothingly. “This okay?” Blaine could feel Sam’s voice rumbling under his cheek where it rested it on Sam’s chest, his cotton hoodie soft under his skin.

“Yeah, definitely okay. But…” Blaine couldn’t put words to what he was feeling. He felt so good here with Sam, but how could this really be what Sam wanted?

“Don’t overthink it, dude. This works for me too, you know? Remember, scary nightmares?”

“Okay.” Blaine exhaled and relaxed into Sam’s arms, spreading his hand out carefully where it rested on Sam’s waist. “I’ll protect you from the scary nightmares. I’ll shoo them away with my crazy hair.”

Sam nuzzled Blaine’s head. “I like your hair like this. It’s soft.”

Blaine stifled a giggle. He wondered if maybe he was dreaming. If so, it definitely wasn’t a nightmare.

“You know, I can sing for you too,” Sam said softly. “Do you want me to?”

“Sure.” Blaine picked his head up and looked at Sam. “Want me to move?”

“Uh-uh, you stay right there.” Sam pushed Blaine back down. “No moving. Sleep.”

“Okay.”

As Sam started singing, Blaine hummed a little sound of approval and contentment. “Sweet Baby James” was a perfect choice, and Sam’s voice was smooth and soothing. Even better than James Taylor.

Well, there is a young cowboy he lives on the range  
His horse and his cattle are his only companions  
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons  
Just waiting for summer, his pastures to change

As Sam started the second verse, Blaine heard Artie join in. He was singing softly, but his gentle voice carried well enough in the quiet space, and blended wonderfully with Sam’s.

And as the moon rises he sits by his fire  
Thinking about women and glasses of beer  
And closing his eyes as the dogies retire  
He sings out a song which is soft but it's clear  
As if maybe someone could hear

Blaine joined in for the chorus, and after another sentence or two, Jake and Ryder were singing with them as well. Here in this room, someone can hear, he thought. We hear each other, and we’re going to be okay.

Goodnight you moonlight ladies  
Rockabye sweet baby James  
Deep greens and blues are the colours I choose  
Won't you let me go down in my dreams  
And rockabye sweet baby James

They kept going through the end of the song, Jake and Ryder dropping in and out where they didn’t know all the words. Blaine could feel Sam smiling as he got to the part about singing:

There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway  
A song that they sing when they take to the sea  
A song that they sing of their home in the sky  
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep   
But singing works just fine for me

And Artie chimed in “and me too!” then continued into the last chorus.

“Love you guys,” Sam said when they finished, giving Blaine a squeeze. 

“Me too,” Blaine said softly.

“Love you all, man,” Artie replied, Jake and Ryder agreeing. Blaine heard the other boys shuffling around on the other side of the room, rolling over and getting comfortable again. He felt vaguely bad for waking them up, although he preferred thinking they had just woken up when Sam started singing to realizing that they could have heard his and Sam’s entire conversation. Well, the ship of his endless embarrassment has sailed once again, he mused. But this time thought didn’t bother him, it actually just made him happier. These guys knew him, his fears and his dreams, and they accepted him. They loved him. And that was worth a little embarrassment.

“Think you can sleep now?” Sam whispered to Blaine, snuggling down into the covers, still holding Blaine against his chest.

“Yeah, I think I can,” Blaine replied. “Remind me to thank Kitty in the morning.”

“Kitty? Why?” 

“Because this was the best sleepover ever.”

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Boy's "Army," the song Sam and Blaine sing - if you have never heard this group, look them up right away, they are an awesome duo. Marley sings "You've Got a Friend" by Carole King (she was thinking about singing "You Have More Friends," but she hasn't finished it yet), Artie sings Billy Joel's Angry Young Man, Brittany sings "You Are My Sunshine," and later Sam leads the group in James Taylor's Sweet Baby James.
> 
> Please comment and let me know if you enjoyed this fic!


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